Two years ago I, the innocent bright-eyed freshman that I was, followed behind a fellow student, gazing at his over-sized bag that lay diagonal across his back, thinking to myself, "huh. Cool bag. Looks like it would offer great back support. Good distribution of weight you know?*"
*yes, sometimes I think in second person when I think to myself, okay?
I would later find out that this student was what people referred to as a "hipster", and that these cool bags with nice weight distribution was one of the primary emblems of these aforementioned "hipsters", and thus to sport one of these cool bags with nice weight distribution was to become a pejorative "hipster".
-Incidentally they were also expensive; and thus I continued walking with my regular persons messenger bag dragging on the ground, and eventually my 5th grader approved polka-dot backpack which surely exacerbating my scoliosis because it certainly did not distribute weight properly
Then came study abroad. Surely my polka-dot backpack could not defend itself against a malicious theif! A Timbuk2 however is basically built with an anti-theft alarm! (I mean, we all know how loud Velcro is!) And everything is inside a nice waterproof interior! Perfect!
And did I mention the proper weight distribution?! Perfect!
Thus, I bought my first Timbuk2.
Over the summer I realized it actually does function as a great bike bag and not just a merit badge of hipness.
Once summer ended, it was time to go international.
And that was when I fell in love with my Timbuk2
YOU STILL WITH ME?
Yes. I legitmatelly love my bag. I take it everywhere with me; I carry everything in it; and I have been repeatedly teased for both of these things. (going to a club? Yeah, hold on a sec, gotta grab my bag...)
But over these past couple of weeks by myself I have very much realized why I love my Timbuk2 so much, and it does not have much to do with hipness or even weight distribution.
While I have very much enjoyed my time in Budapest, I have of course had moments of homesickness; but in someways, I have really enjoyed that homesickness because in it I have realized how much I appreciate Seattle, how much its culture has shaped me, and how proud I am to call the Pacific North West my home.
( this is especially important since I cannot say that I have ever experienced this same sort of affection for my actual hometown)
Yet while the homesickness has been illuminating, it of course has also been painful and melancholic. As a result I continually witness myself desperately clutching to the things and experiences that offer a connection with Seattle, and one of these very things is my Timbuk2.
Basically, my Timbuk2 is not just my schoolbag- it is my only material possession that I completely associate and identify with Seattle. Embodied in my bag is summer time bike rides, the Puget sound, cafes, Seattle University, Pike's Place, Hot Mama's Pizza, my friends, and yes, even dirty hipsters.
Like a turtle who carries its home on its back, so do I.
(well metaphorically...Though..I could probably fit in my bag?)
Yet, this connection goes even further. Because not only is my bag an emblem of Seattle, but it is also an emblem that I sport eagerly and proudly; thus, in away, it becomes an emblem of myself-- a badge of uniqueness that says, "hey, this is where I come from".
What that excatly means of course depends on who I'm declaring it to:
-to local Hungarians or Europeans it means I come from the United States [not in an arrogant way mind you, but simply in a " information to better understand who I am" sort of way]
- to the other people in my program, it means I come from the Pacific North West, which I have come to realize definitely has its own culture and I am so proud to be a part of
Maybe this doesn't really make since, but as I write this a particular story my history professor/ life coach told me when explaining the emotional trajectory of study abroad comes to mind (she herself having spent a year abroad during her undergrad) :
The beginning is the honeymoon stage when you are too excited for anything to be wrong.
About a month or two in, homesickness starts to hit- and suddenly all you can think about his how much better "we" do things back home.
After the third or fourth month, however, things become incredibly easier and it is smooth sailing from there.
Ir seems as though in the third phase, one finds a compromise between wanting to completely assimilate with the culture and wanting to maintain one's "americanness" or whatever culture they call home.
My professor told me a that after awhile she just embraced her americanness.
Of course she still embraced the new culture as well, speaking the language and all, but being "the American one" was part of her identity; simply put, it was what made her unique.
And the part that I remember best of this story- and why it has arised amidst these Timbuk2 musings- is that she too had her emblem of home that she proudly wore: acid-washed jeans.
Her acid-washed jeans announced to the world "this is where I come from", and as a result provided an internal ability to assimilate to a new culture without assimilating her identity away.
And so I continue to walk the streets of Budapest with my Timbuk2 tightly secure over my bulging winter coat, for my bag is not just an emblem of Seattle, but it is an emblem of me.
PS: CHECK OUT THIS SWEET VIDEO I MADE IN MY SOLITUDE
