Just give me a rock and call me Sisyphus

Existential Crisis. Stagnation. 
Down-Spiral Down-Spiral Down-Spiral down-spiral.

-Now that the honeymoon period of study abroad has subsided and I am settling into Budapest as my current home, trying desperately to make it feel as much as home instead of just a vacation, I find my self floundering, flailing in the empty space of my own free time.
(HENCE, the largely emphasized words up top.)

I literally did nothing all day today. I have so much time to do anything. But I do nothing. So instead of cataloging all the meaningless activities of my weekend, I am going to lie ( with illustrations):

  I woke up at 6 am. I didn't set my alarm, for today, nature was my alarm. The bright rays of an autumn sunrise waking me from my slumber, I got up, got dressed, and did my daily run....up a mountain....in Budapest?..YES IN BUDAPEST.

I reached the summit in about a half hour and proceeded to meditate atop the mountain when I sensed a disturbance approaching. Two rather scruffy looking Hugarian men were approaching behind me. What is anyone but me doing atop this mountain at 6:45 am? I knew trouble was a foot. Immediately they started taunting me in Hungarian
(which I of course understood because I am bilingual you know). I tried to leave but instead a scuffle broke out.  Afraid that one had a weapon and seeing no safeway out I decided to make a run for it....off the edge of the mountain. . .

And where did I go? Well there is only one place I could have gone ....onto the back of an Albatross of course! (They're pretty common in Hungary, the national bird actually)

The crisp Hungarian air blowing through my hair, the albatross and I flew far above Budapest, far above Hungary, far above the WORLD. Nothing could bring us down.

Having suddenly (and most literally) dropped in on this large bird I thought it only polite to make friends, and so I started some conversation.

   Incidentally Albatrosses LOVE good conversation.

We talked about so many things: Politics, music, religion, movies, even Love ( he was a very talkative albatross you see). Hours passed and we continued flying when eventually I asked:

- So when are we going to land? Don't get me wrong, I have very much enjoyed our time, but we must have to hit solid ground at somepoint?

To which he responed:
-Why?

-Well, because we blong on the solid ground.
Don't we?

-I don't.

-What do you mean?

Explaining in a very matter-of-fact manner:
-You see my dear, I am an albatross. I  can spend my whole life without setting foot on solid ground; I just fly from sea to sea, floating to where ever the current takes me, and when I tire of simply floating, I spread my wings and choose my own course for a while, and I fly. Do you understand?

- Yes. I think I know what you mean.


While I am certainly no bird, I truly did understand what my feathered friend said, for it had been a long time since I had felt on solid ground as well, so it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one floating on currents for a living. -Now if only I could fly, I thought. Oh well, there has to be something to distinguish me from a bird I suppose.

And so we continued to fly. We flew over the Puszta, the Carpathian Mountains, over all of Central Europe. But as the sun began to set, we began our way back to Budapest, for I was not an Albatross and it was time for me to go home.

As the albatross began to descend into Budapest, we rapped up our conversation about the changing political climate of Hungary ( He is very  interested to see what the new majority will do this upcoming year) and we finally said our goodbyes. I hopped from his back onto the paved, leaf covered ground of Gellert Hill, and he flew away.

and so I sat on the solid ground and watched the sunset, wondering of whether to float or fly.

Confessions of a Political Science Major

Oh hey there.

Do you know what's been on my mind a lot lately? Woah! That's  totally right! I've been thinking a lot about
                                             

                                               WESTERNIZATION

  I have thought a lot about this topic throughout the past year but it has become so relevant considering my current environment. In the United States westernization easily remains a topic reserved for the academic world, the political elite, or high school debate tournaments. Here though, it isn't just some political science paradigm, it is an actual decision that has to be made: It is not an issue of moral obligation but a question of survival in global society!

Post-communist Central Europe had to make the decision to become more Western and ostensibly this decision occured fairly organically.  However, there are many other examples where this democratization is not so organic, does not arise from "the people", and either democratization is "exported" and forced or nations are simply deemed as "under devolped" or even just plain "inferior".

and you know what? That is DUMB

                                                               Don't get me wrong- I don't mean to create a complete tirade against democracy, the Man, or what have you. Democracies  can be great and I'm a pretty big fan...

 HOWEVER, why is it that westernization has to be the ultimate standard of progress?

This question brought itself to me during my comparative politics class last year when on the second day we learned about the "modernization paradigm" which created a linear criterion of progress from which all states can be categorized and, ultimately, the end goal is to be a beaming protégé of Western Civilization; the further away from this standard, then the less "modern", less "progressive" a state is.

          Maybe it is hypocritical of me to complain or question when I live in the epicenter of Western Society, it's just.......see this is what is really plaguing my  mind:

       I spent last weekend in Sarajevo, Bosnia ( after spending a day in Zagreb, Croatia). The countries that make up the former Yugoslavia remain extremely different from Western, and even Central Europe.                 Check it: The first night in Sarajevo we made our way to a look out over the city at sunset. As we climbed up the darkening cobblestone ally, lead by Bosnian teenagers, church bells started to toll alongside the melodic Muslim call to prayer heard from a nearby minaret. Surreal much?

 Having been heavily influenced by Turkish rule and isolation from the West, the Balkans maintain a noticeably different culture. While Bosnia contains clear scars from the war that ended just a little of 15 years ago, there is still something so refreshing about the country-- that in spite of the hardships and domination it has suffered, there is still an essence that endures and keeps it uniquely itself, uniquely Bosnian.
            

(This is maybe a horrible way of describing it, I mean, I am not really sure if I can even characterize what being "Bosnian" means. The impression I got is that, this is something even Bosnians' are struggling with. But it's hard to put things into precise words sometimes, OKAY?)

   What I'm getting at, is that even if the culture of Bosnia is an amalgamation of various cultures and influences, it is uniquely theirs, and as far as I could tell, they are embracing it.

  Then there is Zagreb, Croatia, who is trying so much to become Western. SO MUCH.
--So much so that they outwardly reject their "Balkan" culture ( Balkan being very much considered a pejorative) and even display European Union flags, just itching to get accepted.

Now, I don't mean to imply that joining the EU is dumb, and economic security is for "weak ass bitches".

It's just--- on our way to Mostar, Bosnia we passed beautiful mountains and small houses that rested along a gorgeous river that was so sea-green you would think it was the sea itself. At one point my friend turned to me and made a comment about how, give it 20 years, and this will be prime real estate, a great tourist spot.

But why? Why can't this country and land just be pretty in itself? Why must the end goal, even the expectation, be for it to be developed, reduced to nothing but a source for generating revenue? The land has already been under so much domination and control, why must it then fall under domination of capitalist exploits?

Of course I would want Bosnia to become stable and successful, and I know that depends a lot upon wealth. Of course it is not even my place to really say what is right or wrong for a whole state anyways.

However, what is frustrating is that whether or not Bosnia wants to become western, to market their sea-green river to become a neighborhood of the wealthy, to become the next tourist hot spot, to contract the land for economic gain, there is immense pressure to do so, and there is universal expectation to do so. To not develop, to not abandon their Balkan heritage, to not change, is to be uncivilized, uncouth, and unimportant.

The language is different, the religion is different, the music is different: life is different. But different does not mean wrong. Different does not mean backwards. Different does not mean inferior.


    -In Bosnia, even after a horrific war, there are  Mosques, Catholic cathedrals, and even Jewish synagogues existing among each other in ostensible peace,
    - In the United States, the simple proposal for an Islamic community center results in protests, bigotry, and violence against mosques throughout the united states.
             
                    What a flawless  and superior global standard of progress.